كل الي عنده ثقافة انجليزية يسااااعدني .. بس تصحيحات صغيرووونة .. طلبتكم

[صدى الصمت]

هذي قصة ,, أنا كتبتها وألفتها ..

أريد تصحيحاتكم بليييز

هذا مشروع المادة .. :(

ساااعدوووني


" once upon a time on 2020, in Vickys' family were going to bed after a big party , they ordered the robert to clean the living room and throw every thrown thing on the land in the bin.
On the morning
"Good morning everyone " said Vicky
"Good morning Vicky, have you slept well last night ? " Asked her mother
"Yes mum" replied Vicky and asked her young sister "where did you put the ring which my dad brought it yesterday?"
"I put it near the sofa, you was busy with your friends Vicky" said the young sister
Vicky went to the living room and searched on near the sofas and she didn’t get anything "nothing is there " said Vicky sadly
"who was the last one in the living room ?" asked the young sister
"Ms. Robot cleaned the room" answered mum
"oh no ! Surely my ring in the vacuum cleaner " jumped Vicky and checked the vacuum cleaner memories , it was empty so fainly she went to the robot
"Hi Ms Robot" said Vicky
"Hi Vicky may I help you in anything?" said Ms Robot
"can I check your memory please ? " asked Vicky
"ok " accepted Ms Robot
Vicky , her mum and young sister saw the last night work of Ms Robot
"My ring " shouted Vicky "its between the two sofas " Vicky wanted to go to the living room
"Wait , Ms Robot took it by the cleaner" said mum
"but the vacuum cleaners' memory is empty !" said Vicky
"don’t be in hurry .. wait Vicky wait " said young sister
Ms Robots' memory showed that the rubbish recycling robots came early morning and took the rubbish with the ring
"My ring has been recycled !" said Vicky and started to cry
After few weeks Vickys' youngest brother came back from school
"hi everyone !"
"Hello Maikl" said everyone
"What's new in KG honey" asked dad
"Today a new kind kid attended us , his name is Jon " said Maikl
"his family is from this village ? , the laptop didn't sign for a new settler " asked Vicky
"No Vicky, he is living in a near farm , his dad is a farmer , and he is the only one amoung his brothers "said Maikl
"Farmer!" shouted everyone!
"Yes it is" smiled Maikl "no one asked me why only Jon could come to school ?!"
"Why?" asked young sister
"His dad was sitting in his dead farm , he couldn’t bring a new materials to plant his land , suddenly he saw the robots carrying lots of bins and thing was shining on top of the last bin , it was a ring of gold and a big dimond " said Maikl
"It is as mine which has been lost before few weeks" said Vicky full of sorry
"What happened after that Maikl ?" asked mum
"He sell it and brought new tools , plant his land , sell the fruits and vegetables , and fainly he collected money and thought his son with them ! " said Maikl
"How stupid are those robots , they are taking expensive ring to bin , and that farmer did how a lot with the same ring !" said dad
"dad , surely human cleverer that those robots , because human invented robots , so life without human impossible will be improve" said Vicky

created by : me

[أحزان الشوق]

للأسفـ خيهـ صموتهـ ..
مانيـ منيح فيـ الانجليزيـ لهناكـ ..
لوأعرفـ زود كانـ ساعدج ..
أعذرينيـ خيهـ ..

الأعضاء ان شاء الله يساعدوجـ ..

[صدى الصمت]

أفا .. والله ما كان العشم :(

[نور الفرات]

تحياتي

اخي

أسفه خيه

ماعارف انجليزي ممكن ابعاد او قلب نازف يعرفون..


نور الفرات

[أحزان الشوق]

::أعذرينيـ خيهـ صموتهـ ::
والله لو أعرفـ ماقصرتـ معاجـ ::
صدقينيـ عزيزتيـ ::

[أبعاد]

أعذريني خيتو توني شايفة الموضوع ..:)
حبكة القصة ضعيفة شوي..
بس يوجد مكان للتطور الملحوظ..
أنا بس صححت بعض الأغلاط فقط لا غير..

"Once upon a time during 2020, Vicky’s family was going to bed after a party they had that night. They have ordered their robot maid to clean everything and throw the unnecessary stuff inside the bin

In the morning:
“Good morning everyone” said Vicky
“Good morning Vicky, have you slept well last night?” her mother asked.

“Yes mum” replied Vicky and asked her young sister “where did you put the ring my dad brought yesterday?”

“I have put it near the sofa, you were busy with your friends Vicky” said the young sister.

Vicky went to the living room and searched near the sofa and she didn’t find anything "nothing is there” said Vicky in a sad tone.

“Who was the last one in the living room?” asked the young sister

“The Robot cleaned the room” her mother answering Vicky.

“Oh no! Then I’m pretty sure that my ring is in the vacuum cleaner”. And before you know it Vicky jumped to the vacuum but nothing is what she has found.


"Hey Robot" said Vicky
"Hi Vicky how may I help you?" said the Robot
"can I check your memory data please? “Asked Vicky
the Robot agreed.
Vicky and the rest of her family saw the tape but they didn’t find anything.

“MY RING!!” shouted Vicky “it must be between the two sofas” Vicky rushed to the living room, but the voice of her young sister stopped her.
“While we were checking her memory tape it showed that the Robot was taking the trash outside and the garbage man took it” said Vicky’s sister.

"My ring has been recycled!" said Vicky and started to cry.
After few weeks, Vicky’s' youngest brother came back from school.

"Hi everyone!!"
"Hello Maikl" said everyone
"What's new in KG my dear son?" asked dad
"We had a new student at our school today; his name is Jon” said Maikl.

"Is his family from this village? , the laptop didn't sign for a new settler " asked Vicky.

"No Vicky, he lives next to a farm near by, his dad is a farmer, and he is the only one child”
"FARMER!!" shouted everyone!
"Yes, a farmer" smiled Maikl "no one asked me why only Jon came to our school?!".

"Why?" asked young sister

“His dad was sitting next to his farm, and all of the sudden he saw a robot carrying some garbage and on the top there was something shiny, turns out it was an expensive ring, made of gold and big diamond in the center:

"It is as mine which has been lost before few weeks" said Vicky in a heartbreaking tone.

"What happened after that Maikl ?" asked his mother
"He sold it and bought new tools , planted his land , sold the fruits and vegetables , and finally he collected money and thought his son with that money!" said Maikl
"how stupid are those robots! They throw our expensive jewels and they end up with some farmer”
“sure dad, the human race is way much smarter than the robots, first of all it is us who created them, and secondly without the human there will be no development”

Created by: me

[صدى الصمت]

saaaaaank u
شكرا جزيـــــلا أبعااااااد :)